Hello Spaceblobs,
I squirm as I write this. I know that vulnerability has a cringe-factor. But this doesn't stop my stomach from churning each time I feel overexposed.
Someone I admired in the prison activist community once asked me: “What if you were to completely give up the idea of punishment or retribution?” I was 19 or 20 then.
In high school, I volunteered at a "warm room" for individuals and families affected by HIV. Being in foster care at the time, I projected an image of curiosity, precociousness, and rebellious teen angst to hide my inner vulnerability. Some of the other volunteers, ex-convicts, saw through my facade.
These men influenced me in several ways. One, they made me an excellent spades player. More importantly, they taught me never to reduce a person to the worst thing they have ever done.
In my last issue, Grey Area, I discussed the internal battle I felt when writing about conflict. I explored how fiction taught me to see conflict as a gradient, pushing me to understand why people make the choices they do. But this lesson from fiction echoes a lesson I learned long ago: not one of us is free until we are all free.
In my last newsletter, I broached the topic of conflict, particularly the conflict in Gaza. I admitted I find it hard to stand up for my values without cascading into the torrent of anger, blame, and rage that comes with sharing opinions in the digital age.
The rapid spread and sheer volume of online information can be overwhelming. In the case of Gaza, I have found myself in moments of overwhelm turning away from collective expressions towards private moments of grief. As Spring emerges, I'm rediscovering a deeper will to stand up for justice and ways to do so that are congruent with those deeper beliefs. I am finding fellow travelers whose "activism" comes in the form of acts of service, song, dance and prayer.
Prentis Hemphill's rebroadcast of a 2021 interview with Kazu Haga of the East Point Peace Academy has been a valuable resource during this internal struggle. You can find the show on various platforms and Hemphill's website: https://www.findingourwaypodcast.com/individual-episodes/s2e7
I highly recommend it.
The work I do takes place on Mohican Land, or what is commonly known as Albany, NY. With express gratitude to the original keepers of this land and the ongoing legacy of anti-Black oppression and Queer and Trans-phobia, a portion of all my proceeds from the services offered through my website and this newsletter go to supporting different fundraising efforts each month with special attention paid to Black, Queer, and Indigenous organizations.
Continuing in April 2024, I am splitting a portion of all my proceeds to two organizations: A Land for All and American Friends of Combatants for Peace, two organizations that are committed to maintaining a dialogue between Israelis and Palestinians.
If you can’t donate, consider sharing this newsletter with a friend or leave a like—your support helps put the wind in my sails and joy in my heart to keep going.